Not Aspirin

I saw a box of acetaminophen labelled "Not Asprin." Out of the total set of things that could be contained in a box, this is not a very helpful descriptor.

Presidents Day Sale

Let's celebrate our political leaders by selling cheap consumer goods!

City Street Naming Conventions

Here in Denver, city blocks are a tenth of a mile. This means that 20th street is a mile away from 10th street. Very nice and convenient; they even skip road #s if they're more than a tenth of a mile apart.

Fart Proudly

Our esteemed founding father Benjamin Franklin wrote an essay entitled "Fart Proudly," thus showing that even the most juvenile can accomplish prestigious things.

Even Odds

Calling balanced odds "even odds" seems a bit odd.

70% Pure, 30%?

Had an Izze soft drink yesterday. The label advertised that it was "70% pure fruit juice." To my mind, this implies that it is 30% impure. However, I can't think of a concise way to effectively phrase their intent.

Habits of Orientation

I noticed today that it feels weird to stand in the shower with the water hitting my left shoulder instead of my right shoulder. The feeling is similar to that felt when crossing your arms the "wrong" (non-standard) way. Unlike crossing your arms the "wrong" way, my body's position doesn't change, only its orientation to the outside world.

Can Anti-Austerity Save Money?

I don't see how electing an Anti-Austerity government helps get your country out of debt. (In re January 2015 Greek Elections)

Clear as transparent mud

Since scientists have developed transparent soil, "clear as mud" doesn't have quite the same meaning.
http://www.insidescience.org/content/see-through-soil-could-improve-crops/788

Coughing on your own food

I've found that I habitually cover my mouth and turn away if I need to cough when preparing or eating food... even when I'm the only one who is going to consume it. Apparently the strength of habit supersedes common sense.